This house and I are in love. I love it fiercely, and I know it’s true love because I loved her before her big She’s All That-style makeover. Before she ripped off her nerd glasses and her dirty painter’s smock. This isn’t a looks based love- I love her bones and her soul. It was a love at first sight kind of love, even when she looked a little worse for the wear.
Look at her. If she were a person she’d be Meryl Streep, no doubt. She’s got an air of maturity. She’s confident, classic. She doesn’t need gimmicks or trends. I mean look at her for just a hot minute and try not to blush. Insert catcall. She turns coyly. “Oh, who me?” Minx.
The white brick with that squished mortar. Those arches. I’m normally a clean lines kinda girl, but those arches are doing it for me. And… there are more inside. Come, let me show you.
But First, Some Backstory
I bought her at an online auction. It was my second house to buy in this fashion, and it’s safe to say that I still don’t fully understand how these online auctions work. On the technical side of things, when I bid is an actual human being bidding against me, or is the bank auto bidding back until they reach their reserve? I don’t know, but I did know that the rule was once again in place that you were not allowed to enter the home before purchase.
Full disclosure, because we’re friends: I entered the home. Because fool me once… (I’m looking at you, Magnolia House) Cockroach style, I circled around and around and around the house looking to gain entry until, at last, I found an unlocked window with a broken screen. It was five feet off the ground, but, I was getting in that house, SO HELP ME. It was after church (I know, breaking and entering on the Lord’s day- don’t think that either the irony or the shame has escaped me) and with the boys in the truck I begged Kevin to give me a boost. Very much a rule follower, he wanted no part of my breaking and entering, but alas, it just happened to be Mother’s Day, so as ruling Queen of the Day, I commanded a boost, and he was forced to oblige. He boosted me, and I climbed the rest of the way up and shimmied my way in through the window, while he high tailed it out of dodge so that both parents wouldn’t be hauled away to jail when the cops were inevitably called.
It was love at first five foot drop. The minute I landed on the inside of the house I fell in love.
I had drop landed in a bedroom.
Peering through the windows, before breaking and entering, I had thought that maybe I had won the lottery and gotten salvageable wood-ish floors, but that was immediately proven not to be the case. Inside it was obvious that the cheap laminate floors were in terrible condition . Peeling, chunks missing, planks coming up. They would obviously need to go. But as I walked through the house I didn’t care about any of that. I was too busy falling madly in love. The second I rounded the corner and entered the living room I knew that I would stop at nothing to get this house.
LIVING ROOM
Look at the repeating arch theme. LOOK AT IT. Oh Meryl, the things you do to me. I was in love with the arching fireplace. The brick columns. The archway to the kitchen. The beams (rudely painted white, but don’t worry- not for long). All the light. It is just flooded with natural light from the arched entry window to the patio door and flanking sidelights (the sidelights open, btw. Precious.)
Imagine that arched fireplace with a mantel over it. And imagine the built-in shelf modernized. I planned to add canned lighting and a modern ceiling fan. I would do light floors, picture an ashy Oak color. Heart eyes. I would paint the woodwork white (only because the woodwork was so dated. I think dark wood trim would look amazing in this house, but the graining and style of all of the woodwork screamed 70’s cheap), the walls I would paint gray, and the ceiling beams would become wood colored again.
The little pony walls chopping up the arch to the kitchen would come out, obvi (regards them with disgust).
KITCHEN AND DINING
The kitchen and dining layout was great. I loved the spot for the dining table in front of the huge window looking into the big, (what would be) beautiful backyard.
In the kitchen, the bank of upper cabinets over the peninsula would come out, and some pretty, globed pendant lights would go in above the bar. I knew that I wanted to do something a little different with this kitchen, (this was not meant to be an all white cabinet-ed, subway tiled kitchen, friends) I just wasn’t sure what yet.
HALL BATH
The hall bath is a Jack-and-Jill set between the two guest bedrooms, but with access to the hallway. And let me tell you, it was rough. Really in pretty terrible shape, actually. The only thing that I planned to salvage was the tub. Everything else hurt my eyeballs and my nose hairs and would be gutted and replaced with new. Please make haste and empty thyself, room.
MASTER BED AND BATH
GAHHHHHHHHH. I cannot stop buying bedathrooms. [Bangs head against wall] WHHHYYYYYY?! Have mercy on my ever loving soul, I swear to you, I do not secretly love them. I publicly loathe them. They just seem to be present in every single home that I buy. Which I suppose is a good thing because this brings me one step closer to my goal of eradicating them from the planet altogether. But OMG, if I have to stare into the soul of one more bedathroom, guys… So help me.
My plan in this room was obviously to make it into two distinct rooms, AS IT SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.
I would also rip up all of the nasty floors and paint everything and do some really cool bathroom tile.
BEDROOMS 2 AND 3
The two guest bedrooms were really great spaces look how beautiful that front bedroom is with that huge arched window. The light in this room is just amazing. I would so call dibs on this room.
All of the flooring would be ripped up in these rooms and they would be painted a nice neutral color with white trim and some nice modern ceiling fans. Easy as pie.
THE BACKYARD AND POOL
The backyard is huge. The neighborhood is one of those nice, quiet, older neighborhoods where the houses sit back off the road a little on oversized lots. The homes and yards have all been well maintained. It’s pretty dreamy, and though this yard won’t be earning Yard of the Month in its current state, it has great potential to one day. In fact, it has all the potential under the sun.
This was my first time to delve in a pool on a remodel… and all of the troubles that come along with it. I mentally set aside a hefty chunk of my budget in preparation to repair this in-ground potential beauty with attached spa. Not pictured: all the tadpoles of the earth. A plague of tadpoles. (Side note: on a Bring Your Kids to Work Tuesday I had my boys with me, and my oldest fell into the tadpole infested cesspool, and I fretted for days over imminent death by cess-pool related dysentery. The fear was real, but thankfully he’s licked grosser things so ultimately he lived.)
The siding around the back window was all rotted out and would need to be completely replaced. The porch sagged in a couple of places and would need two posts set to lift it once again.
The yard would need a good deal of tree and vine clean up and the fence needed repair, but I had a solid vision of shining this penny up again.
I CAN’T WAIT TO MAKE HER PRETTY
So as I said, I was in love.
And so, as a result of that fierce love, I overpaid for her slightly. And by overpaid, I mean that I paid about $10,000 more than what I absolutely, firmly said, “I will not pay over X for this house. I just won’t do it!” [cringe] But like I said, I was a mad woman. Crazed. Fevered. I would stop at nothing to get this house. And even with paying more than I wanted, there was still plenty of room in the budget to make this house very very worthwhile…. right?? [She said nervously, trying to convince herself] This house was a great flip choice… if I can bear to part with it when the time comes. No, just stop. I can’t think about parting with her yet. 😭